the African definition of a "massage"

Ouch. Ugh, I thought massages were suppose to make you feel better not induce further agony. My calves are experiencing charlie-horse like symptoms and my neck is in want of pain killers. I should've learned my lesson in Thailand. In Africa, apparently a massage goes something to the effect of.... you waltz in, in my case, wanting some unwinding-Friday relaxation...the masseuse strips you of your clothing save for a little loin cloth thingey...turns on some African vibes...puts this, I swear it's piri-piri (hot sauce), lotion on you (it's laced with something with a kick - cayenne, jalapeño?) and then spends the next 60 minutes brutalizing every tender spot in your body. And because the little masseuse ladies speak only the local African tribal language of Shangaan they don't seem to pick up on Portuguese/English expressions (or are masochistic) for 'stop' 'OW!' or subtle hints of me inching away from their digging claws. 3 hours later I can still feel the heat emanating from my body and my legs are feeling very whiny. If it wasn't for the gecko that stalks my bathroom floor, I would consider its cool floor a resting place for the night’s slumber. Though I suppose that would lend to other achy ailments. 2 months shy of celebrating my quarter-century mark and I'm already facing hot flashes and arthritic pains! The traditional African healer I saw a few backs did not foresee this – that or chose not to deter me from my encounter with hot, pain-inducing massages. A real African treat for the “Gringo.”